Live Your Best Life...Later, When the Time is Right and You Have Enough Money
There's no free beer tomorrow, nor good time to start living your life to the fullest.
In July 2019, I ran a trail half-marathon race around a farm in the mountains of Northwest Connecticut. Between the gorgeous singletrack course, the cool morning temperature, the good vibes from fellow racers, and my fitness, which was some of my life’s best, I could barely imagine a more ideal setting. The only thing that might have improved it was having my two sons around to share the experience, but they were with their mom.
Racing through the mountains, mind and body completely absorbed by the effort and environment, I had an epiphany: if I’m not as stoked about doing something as I am running like this or seeing my boys learn (my other favorite activity), I didn’t want to do it. I had a lot of things I was supposed to want —professional success, money, marriage, a home, the esteem of others —and many I achieved; each of things were as likely to cause suffering and heartache as a sense of fulfillment. Perfecting my body in nature and sharing my joy of life with others —especially my progeny —were definitely my jams.
My epiphany was influenced by the parable of the Mexican fisherman. To summarize, the fisherman spends his day relaxing on the beach and catching enough fish to get by. An American industrialist sees the fisherman and hears his story and suggests the fisherman start a fishing business so he can make more money and stop living hand to mouth. If the fisherman worked hard his whole life, he could make enough money to retire, at which point the fisherman could spend his days relaxing by the beach and doing what he loved most: fishing.
Prior to my epiphany, I had my own version of this story. The things I cared most about the most —my physical health, friendships, and relationship with my sons —were often attended to after fulfilling on what I thought was supposed to do to be successful: mostly building my career, working, and assuring I had enough money to pay for one and a half households.
Extricating oneself from the supposed-to’s is not easy, especially when what you’re supposed to do is make other people feel secure. I’ve chased my bliss, but often running away from people committed to having company in their miserable universes of suffering and shit health. Lawyers accused me—on record—of not living up to my potential when I chose to work less in order to spend time with my kids. Shifting my focus to health and happiness made my peers uncomfortable, as it drew attention to their own poor health, crappy relationships, and lack of fulfillment. Refusing to do unimportant work has made me practically unemployable.
I’ve had an abundance of good health and worldly success in my lifetime. I can say with confidence that worldly success is less important than health, family, and community. Moreover, it’s a myth that work, acclaim, money, and accumulation are vehicles for personal health, happiness, and success. A successful life is measured by how many happy and healthy moments that life creates for itself and others in its lifetime. Those moments are created and felt here and now, and never later, somewhere else. My next startup, Run Haus, is about propagating those moments in oneself and one’s community.