Tomorrow is my son Ryder’s ninth birthday. Though I am unable to see him for reasons I won’t go into in this newsletter, his existence —and that of his brother —is, as the French put it, my raison d'être.
As much as I lament about the state of the world and humanity, my lamentations are indirect expressions of love for my children and their future. I see so much that is sacred in the world, both environmentally and psychically, being discarded and destroyed with indifferent alacrity. If these losses were simply affecting me and my life, I don’t think I’d care enough to protest. But to watch idly while my sons’ future is robbed of clean air, fresh water, humanity, and God —that’s unacceptable. My father, who died in 2012, spent his final years fighting to protect the planet, despite his ostensible physical absence from that planet. I get it.
I’m reminded of an old Louis CK bit in which he says the lives of single people are inconsequential compared to a parent. Whereas single people can die with little to no consequences, he says, “I can’t die” due to his then wife and daughters’ dependence on him. While his take is a bit extreme, there is truth to it as well. Without someone depending and looking to you for their survival, it’s easy to lapse into existential solipsism, living only for oneself and lifetime.
There’s an irony about the future I have yet to reconcile. On the one hand, there are far too many people on the planet given climatic trends, resource availability, and other factors. In this sense, the declining fertility rates present around the world are a positive development. On the other hand, with fewer parents, with fewer people emotionally and physically tethered to the future, there’s a risk that the people who do remain will just destroy everything on their way to oblivion. For all the fanfare around inclusion, often for statistically small populations, there’s a shocking paucity of public concern for parents, whose material welfare and societal importance has been dwindling for decades —this, despite parents’ critical role in bringing humanity into the future.
My meta-analysis aside, I wanted to give space to praise my beautiful tether to the future Ryder on the eve of his ninth birthday. And though we are apart right now, know I hold you in my mind and heart every minute of every day. Thank you for choosing me as your father. It is my most sacred honor.
Song of the day:
I’ve really enjoyed all your writing. Happy birthday Rider. One day he will realize and understand your principled and biblical decisions. Bless you.